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    12/6/2008

    <十一物什>无题

    百衲琴
    缺月簪
    铁木盏
    银指环
    紫貂裘
    白纨扇
    金错刀
    青丝绣
    琉璃灯
    玳瑁梳
    中国伞

    ——十一物什

    11样物什,凝结得是夜半的低语与梦呓。

    一、金错刀

    我所思兮在太山,欲往从之梁父艰,侧身东望涕沾翰。美人赠我金错刀,何以报之英琼瑶。路远莫致倚逍遥,何为怀忧心烦劳。

    我所思兮在桂林,欲往从之湘水深,侧身南望涕沾襟。美人赠我金琅玕,何以报之双玉盘。路远莫致倚惆怅,何为怀忧心烦怏。

    我所思兮在汉阳,欲往从之陇阪长,侧身西望涕沾裳。美人赠我貂襜褕,何以报之明月珠。路远莫致倚踟蹰,何为怀忧心烦纡。

    我所思兮在雁门,欲往从之雪雰雰,侧身北望涕沾巾。美人赠我锦绣段,何以报之青玉案。路远莫致倚增叹,何为怀忧心烦惋。

    那天,你送给我一把被金丝缠绕的短刀,缀着的明珠泛出阴冷的光芒。你说:“去杀了他,你就能得到自由。”
    又是端午,园子里的姐妹们都在裹粽子。人人的房间里都洋溢着节日的欢闹,可是你的房间里还是那么凄清。你用针绣着那人的面貌,一边流泪一边诅咒。我揣着沉甸甸的刀朝你告别,而你仿佛没有听到。

    园子里,别人都叫我F,因为当我被买回来时,主人用报事帖在我脑门儿上编了号,编号是“F”。虽然我胸前就别着我的铭牌,但是没有喊我的名字,大家都叫我“F”,不错的名字,简单易记,大家都不会忘记我。我害怕被大家遗忘,就像草芥蝼蚁。七年里,我努力让自己与众不同,可是我仍然只是“F”而已。当你明白努力无法改变任何的时候,那就不会再去尝试。新来的丫头们有时看到我会叫“F嬷嬷”,好像我年纪有多大耳不聪目不明神智昏庸。她们叫了“F嬷嬷”后“此此”地笑着跑开,我只当没听见。主人的审美真是一年不如一年了,当然我不会在任何人面前表露。

    TBC

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